


come out, come here

by QuieterThanSilence



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: F/F, Fluff and Angst, Light Angst, Post-Canon, and catra needs to work through some stuff, before they go off on their shiny new adventure, forgiveness is hard, post s5
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-28
Updated: 2020-06-28
Packaged: 2021-03-04 08:41:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,355
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24966889
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QuieterThanSilence/pseuds/QuieterThanSilence
Summary: "I think I'll stay behind, actually."Adora thinks everything should be fine between them all now that Horde Prime is defeated. Catra's not so sure.
Relationships: Adora/Catra (She-Ra)
Comments: 8
Kudos: 148





	come out, come here

"I think I'll stay behind, actually."

Adora frowns, opens her mouth, then closes it again. _Save it for another time_ , she thinks.

They’re in Adora’s room. Catra eyes are downcast at the book in her hands, belly flat against Adora’s bed with a pillow sitting under her chin. Her tail swishes lazily in the air and Adora’s eyes follow. Adora is sitting on the floor in front of her closet, clothes strewn about around the open backpack in front of her, casualties of her search for her boots.

“Alright,” Adora answers back, bringing her eyes back to Catra’s face. “But you’re missing out. Entrapta must really be getting to you if you’re going to stay inside reading instead of coming out with us.”

Catra snorts and looks up. “Hardly. You think I give a shit about _A Materialist History of the Provinces of the Lower Whispering Woods_? I’m only reading it because it’s somehow less boring than everything else to do in this palace. Seriously princess, how the hell did you manage to stay sane here?“

Adora’s lips purse slightly. “We kind of had a war to fight until now. Most of the time in the castle was spent preparing for our next battles. There wasn’t a whole lot of time for sitting around.” Adora regrets the words the moment they leave her mouth. All the grace of a giant, she has.

“Ah, right. Yeah.” Catra breaks eye contact, returns her eyes to the page, a frown tugging at her mouth.

A silence settles between them. Adora turns back to her closet and digs for a few more minutes. She spots a pair of dark brown flat-soled boots tucked behind and triumphantly holds them aloft before shoving them in her backpack. One last double check that she has everything—toothbrush, multiple pairs of clean socks, a waterskin, two sets of smallclothes and socks, some dried snacks for the trail. Closing her bag and hoisting it over her shoulder, she stands.

“Are you sure you don’t want to come with us? We probably might not get to see Perfuma again before we leave the planet.“

Catra grunts, her eyes still cast down at her book. “I’m sure. I think I’ve seen enough princesses in the past few weeks to last me plenty long. Maybe I’ll try to help out with Micah’s reconstruction efforts. Or something.”

Adora stares, eyes fixed on Catra’s downturned face, then nods. She wordlessly crosses the room to the bed, towering over Catra. Catra looks up, a soft smile forming on her face, and Adora’s stomach flutters.

“You got a problem, princess?”

Adora giggles softly. “Just someone I can’t get off my mind.” She leans down and plants a soft kiss above Catra’s eyebrows. “Try not to drive Micah crazy while I’m gone.”

Catra rolls her eyes, but reaches out to hold Adora’s hand nonetheless. “I’ll try to play nice. Have fun playing princess with your dorky friends.”

Adora squeezes Catra’s hand gently, then lets it fall. “I have to go find Glimmer. I’ll see you in a few days.”

Adora turns and begins to walk away, a soft sigh reaching her ears from behind.

  
  
  
  
  
  


She sees white, then multicolor. Pixels upsample, vapor and light refract as Adora begins to materialize. Through a tall arch Adora can see the sun, decompressing from a line to a flat disk as her atoms reconstitute, setting over the horizon, dying the pool around the Moonstone the color of blood orange. The presence of Glimmer’s hand leaves her back as Adora confirms they’re back in the palace of Bright Moon. 

“I still don’t see the point in spending two whole days hiking up and out of the mountain,” Glimmer grumbles from behind her. “I could have teleported us all to the falls. We could have been in and out in a few hours.”

“We’ve been over this, Glim. The journey is the whole point!” Bow strips off his jacket, revealing a cropped white top now stained with dirt. “The scent of the trees, the feeling of trail beneath your feet—”

Adora doesn’t need to turn to know Glimmer is rolling her eyes.

Bow continues. “Besides, what’s the rush? With no war, you might as well enjoy the time with your friends before we go off on yet another adventure.” Adora doesn’t miss the way his eyes soften as he turns to face Glimmer while tying his jacket about his waist.

“You’re not the one who had to share a tent with Perfuma. If I have to hear about how I can improve my aura or how group meditation has done wonders for her and Scorpia’s love life one more time I’m going to break something.” 

Adora laughs. “It’s good to hear that her and Scorpia are doing well, at least.” She looks down at her wretched state. Her boots are mudstained and her pants are rolled up at the knees. She turns to face her friends. Her wet socks squelch when she moves. “I need a shower. I’ll meet you guys in the dining room in an hour?” 

Glimmer's eyes glint as a wicked smile forms on her face. “You mean go check on your girlfriend? Don’t think I didn’t notice you were distracted the whole time we were on the trail.” Bow’s mouth forms into an _o_ and he clasps his hands together expectantly. She hates when they gang up on her like this.

Adora draws her lips into pout. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” 

Glimmer answers with simply a raised eyebrow. Bow’s eyes sparkle.

Adora drops her shoulders. “Ok, whatever, I was just a little worried. Catra didn’t really give a reason for cancelling on us at the last minute this time.” _Or when Mermista and Seahawk asked us on a double date, or when Frosta visited to see Glimmer, or when Micah hosted that celebration dinner_. The thought is laced with a bitterness that catches Adora off guard.

Glimmer shrugs. “I’m sure she’s just a logical person that understands that hiking is a pointless activity.” She shoots Bow a look. “I’m beginning to think that she’s the one I should be spending my time with.”

Adora forces a smile, stomach beginning to constrict, wheels of rumination beginning to turn in her mind. “Yeah. That’s it.” They all stand, static, for a few moments. 

Bow eventually interjets. “Well, we’re going to go change.” He’s now behind Glimmer with his hands on her shoulders. “We’ll see you in a bit!” They turn, they wave, they go, they leave Adora standing, back pressed to the sunset and thoughts elsewhere.

  
  
  
  
  


Corridors stretch around the perimeter of the palace and Adora follows, tracing the familiar route to her room. When she arrives the door is slightly ajar. Adora places a hand on the wood and pushes it open. Her room is much the same as before. A curtain sways gently on the breeze carried in from a large circular window. The bed is unmade, a single volume placed upon one of its pillows. The room is empty. Adora frowns slightly. Property dictated that Catra received her own room—that was what Micah had said—but Catra had been all but living in Adora’s quarters since they’d returned to Bright Moon. She’s rarely left, save for meals and walks with Adora around the palace grounds.

Setting down her bag, Adora begins to strip while walking over to the connected bathroom. She peels off her boots and wet socks, pulls off her white top. She showers, washing the grime of the past two days off her skin. Her mind wanders as she emerges from the bathroom and begins to dress herself in fresh clothing. There’s a gnawing at the back of her consciousness that won’t be quelled. She hoists a fresh white long sleeve top over her head. There’s something she needs to ask Catra, she realizes as she searches for a clean pair of pants from a pile of freshly laundered clothes. She tries to visualize it. Maybe they’ll go on a walk in the gardens. They’ll find a place to sit, Catra will lean back against Adora’s chest, and then—and then the fear takes hold, and Adora’s back on her hands and knees, sky above crowded by canopy, eyes stinging with tears as Catra and Melog disappear into the darkness.

She sifts through a few more piles of clothes. The memory of Catra running away after she obtained the Heart repeats and replays silently. It prevents her from formulating a question that might run afoul of some invisible wall, that might jeopardize what they have built here. Adora finally locates a pair of grey trousers and yanks them out. If the cost for Catra staying is her remaining unintegrated, disjoint from the rest of Adora’s life, so be it. She can’t have Catra run away. Not a second time.

Adora shimmies into her pants and throws on her red jacket. She’s still got a little time before she needs to meet Bow and Glimmer. She puts on shoes, leaves the room. She traces the circumference of the spire, nodding to a few guards she passes along the way. One left down a corridor and she’s reached Catra’s room. She breathes out, raises a hand to knock on the door. Her knuckle raps the dark mahogany—

“Hey, Adora.”

Adora whips around to see Catra at the far end of the corridor, one arm on her hip.

“Catra!” Adora starts. It comes out with more vigor than she’d anticipated and Catra’s eyebrows raise.

“Missed me that bad, huh?” A lopsided smirk tugs up one corner of Catra’s mouth.

Adora winces internally. “Don’t get too full of yourself” she huffs. She takes a step forward, starts closing the gap between them.

Catra grins wider. “You must have been a _great_ conversationalist. I bet you were all like—“ She clasps her hands together, eyes upturned in mock supplication. “Oh, I’m sorry Perfuma. This waterfall is beautiful, but nothing compares to my beautiful Catra! Do you think she’s thinking about me? How I adore her.”

“Catra, ”Adora says, firing a warning shot. She’s almost reached her.

Catra continues. “Do you even remember the hike? Or were you too busy—hey!”

Adora’s grabbed a hold of Catra’s right wrist, now finally directly in front of her. She yanks Catra towards her. Catra growls. Her arm shoots up to grasp onto Adora’s right arm that hangs by her side and she raises it above them. They’re face to face. A glare is set upon Catra’s face, and Adora can hear her take a few breaths in and out. Adora matches her gaze, face steeled.

  
Catra’s the one who cracks first. The corners of her mouth draw back, her chest bounces with convulsions erupting as giggles. She closes her eyes and she’s roaring now. She lets Adora’s arm fall and grabs her around the waist instead, presses her face into the crook of Adora’s neck. Adora laughs with her, fits one arm under Catra’s arm and drapes the other around her neck.

“I missed you, dummy,” Catra says softly into Adora’s shoulder.

“I missed you too,” Adora sighs. The weariness from the journey has set in, and she leans a little more heavily into Catra.

They stay like that, pressed together, for a few moments. Catra draws away first and Adora reluctantly lets her go. She manages to slide a hand down Catra’s wrist and entwine their fingers. She brings their hands up to chest level, an arch bridge connecting their bodies.

“How was the palace? Please tell me you didn’t break anything,” Adora asks.

Catra rolls her eyes. “Don’t worry so much, Adora. I just stayed out of everyone’s way.” She pauses for a moment. “Entrapta came by while you were gone, though. She says repairs and upgrades to Darla are almost complete.” The last two sentences come out softer.

“We’re really leaving again, aren’t we?” Adora matches Catra’s tone. Her voice comes out halfway to a whisper.

Catra doesn’t answer that. She clears her throat. “Did you find me just to take a look at my handsome face again, or was there something else you needed to tell me?”

Something dimly pings in the back of Adora’s mind. “Nothing besides that Glimmer and Bow are meeting us in the dining hall for dinner soon. I’ll probably head over there now.”

Catra’s face contorts. “I’ve already eaten. You go on ahead, I’ll meet you after dinner.”

Adora frowns. She remembers telling Catra they were going to be back in the afternoon. 

“I can see you worrying again,” Catra says. “I promise I’m fine, go have fun with your friends.”

Adora gives up and nods. “Come find me after dinner?”

Catra rolls her eyes cartoonishly. “You’re just _so_ needy, Adora,” she smiles, but nods.

“Only because I love you.” Adora puts as much fondness as she can muster into the utterance.

“You sap. I love you too. Go get fed.”

  
  
  
  
  
  


“I _knew_ you were thinking about me!”

Adora groans. Bow just couldn’t keep his mouth shut. Catra had run into him when he and Glimmer had escorted Adora back to her room.

“Ok, I admit, I may have been a little worried about you.” Adora grits her teeth as she forces the admission out.

Catra laughs, a clear tone that pierces the evening air, and they continue moving. They’re walking in the gardens of the palace after dinner, hands held, winding aimless circles around flowers they cannot name. The stars hang above them, beings whose presence is still unfamiliar to Adora. The air is warm—Bright Moon is always too warm—and they wander in silence for a bit more. Adora doesn’t mind. Being able to touch Catra, feel the warmth of her inner arm pressed against Adora’s, is enough.

They’re walking and smiling and the anxiety at the edge of Adora’s consciousness begins to gnaw, to push out her presentness. Her thoughts from earlier in the day begin to replay, unprompted. They’ll go on a walk in the gardens, she had thought. They’d find a place to sit. And then—she doesn’t know. Her breaths become lighter, the blood circulating with greater speed through her veins. She doesn’t know the question, doesn’t know what to ask. Yet events feel out of her control, like her and Catra are hurtling toward something she can’t avoid. Her throat dries as her head turns to face Catra, compelled by some unseen hand. _I need to ask you about—_

“Oh yeah, Entrapta mentioned something else when she was by,” Catra says, turning her head to face Adora.

Adora makes a strangled vocalization, caught off guard.

Catra ignores it, thankfully. “She said she and Scorpia wanted to take a trip to the Fright Zone. See what’s left of Scorpia’s family hall after the outgrowth. And Entrapta wants to retrieve some tech she left behind there.”

Adora nods. “It might be good to say goodbye to the Fright Zone one last time. We’d probably have to go in the next few days, though. We’re gonna need to find a way to get there quick, too. Maybe we can have Entrapta bring the ship.”

Catra snorts. “Looking forward to our touching reunion with Darla.”

They walk a few steps more. Catra clears her throat.

“Actually, I was thinking I might not come with. I’ll just, y’know, stay behind. Look after the palace.”

A knot of anxiety forms at the bottom of Adora’s stomach. She exhales, steadying herself.

Catra comes back first. “Nothing to say? I thought you liked me a little more than that.” It’s a joke, but her voice comes out soft.

“Catra,” Adora says, blood beginning to circulate more quickly through her veins. _It’s happening._ “Is there something we need to talk about? It feels like—like you don’t want to see anyone else.”

“Oh, so you’re getting sick of me too, now?” This one comes with a little more bite.

“Please, Catra, I’m trying to be serious.”

“There’s nothing to be serious about, Adora. Everything is fine. I’d just rather stay here on the ground than shoot though the sky in an ancient sentient spaceship to see a place I never want to return to.”

Adora can hear the blood pumping in her eardrums. “Why do I get the feeling you’re not being completely honest with me?”

“It’s not that deep, okay? Maybe I’m just too tired after fucking saving the universe to have fun hangouts with your friends all the time.”

“They’re your friends too,” Adora protests.

“Were my friends,” Catra whispers, voice hoarse. “Not anymore.” They’ve stopped holding hands. Catra’s head swivels around. “Do you think we could find a place to sit?”

Wordlessly, Adora takes her hand, leads Catra to a bench nestled between two hedges that faces outwards towards the Moonstone. Catra lets go of her hand as they sit, positioning herself at the far end of the bench. A moment passes, then two.

Adora breaks the silence first. “Am I your friend?”

Catra snorts. “You’re my girlfriend, idiot. I think you get a pass.”

“Then what about Bow and Glimmer? Are they your friends?”

“I like Bow and Glimmer,” Catra protests.

“That doesn’t really answer the question.”

“You’re an asshole, did you know that? Fine, I think they’re my friends.”

Adora swallows.“Then what’s different about Scorpia, or Perfuma, or Entrapta?”

“So that’s what this is about? You’re mad that I didn’t go on your little hike?” Catra’s voice has force behind it, tone mocking.

“It’s not about the hike, it’s about why you for some reason refuse to see anyone besides me, even when they go out of their way to invite you along!”

“Why does this even matter, Adora? You’re the one they want to hang out with anyways.”

“Because I care about you. Because I want to make sure you’re happy,” Adora says firmly.

There’s a release of a frustrated grunt from Catra. A diverting of the face. A pause. A mutter.

Catra begins again, staring out towards the water. She brings knees up off the grounds, wraps her arms around her forelegs. “I’m happy here. That’s what you want to hear, right? Bright Moon has been—good. Really good.” She stops for a few moments. When she speaks again, her voice is quieter, softer. “I’ve felt better than I have since you left the Fright Zone. Better than maybe I’ve ever been before that.” She turns her head upwards for a moment, returns it to neutral. “Better than I think I maybe deserve.”

Adora struggles to process, racing thoughts beginning to spin down. “How could you not deserve it?”

Catra’s eyes flit to make eye contact with Adora, then return to face forward. “Oh, I don’t know Adora, maybe because I tried to kill you all countless times and colonized your countries and almost destroyed the entire planet by opening an unstable portal.”

“But it was the Horde that did that to you! If it wasn’t for Hordak and Shadow Weaver, none of that would have happened! They’ve hurt us— _both_ of us!” Adora protests.

“Hordak didn’t make me open the portal.” Catra says, her voice firm. “He didn’t make me sacrifice Glimmer’s mom. I made my own choices, Adora.”

Adora doesn’t know what to say to that.

Catra continues. “When I see the princesses, when I see Glimmer, or Bow, or Perfuma, or any of these people who I’ve hurt, who I wanted for so long to _make_ hurt—and they smile at me, they show me kindness—“ Catra’s voice quiets. "It's too nice. Everyone is too nice. And I don’t get how they can forgive me."

The wind is still and It’s dead quiet. Adora is facing Catra and Catra is facing the water and Adora is silent, dumb, shut up. Because it’s not that Catra is wrong—it’s a wonder that they forgive her—it’s that—it’s that—

“You don’t forgive yourself,” Adora says.

Catra scowls. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Look, Catra. Bow and Glimmer care for you, and you know you’re their friend. And I think that’s because you’ve already done the work to build that bridge with them. And because of that, they’ve already shown you that they forgive you.”

Catra scowls deeper, eyes glaring into Adora, but says nothing.

“But avoiding the rest of my friends, even when they’ve gone out of their way to make a place for you—I think you think that what you _deserve_ is to be left out. This isn’t about them secretly still hating you. I think this is about you not being able to face them after what you’ve done to them.”

“So what makes you think you know everything about me?” Catra’s voice is hoarse, forced.

“I don’t know everything! But because you don’t tell me about how you’re feeling, I can’t do anything but guess!” Adora’s shouting now, her voice reaching deep into her chest.

Catra turns away from her and bends over, roughs up her short hair with her hands.

“I don’t know if they all forgive you. But even if some don’t, they’re opening the door to you. They’re showing you that you can work towards something, even if that’s going to take time and work and putting yourself through things you don’t want to go through.” Adora can’t stop herself. “You need to show—show _us_ —that you’re ready for that forgiveness. You can’t just hide. You can’t just—”

“Fine, enough Adora!” Catra shrieks. 

Adora’s jaw clamps shut. Her eyes refocus on Catra. She’s shaking. She’s crying.

“Oh, Catra, I’m so sorry, I didn’t—,” Adora starts. She moves across the bench, takes Catra into her arms and presses her into her body.

“It’s fine,” Catra forces out against Adora’s chest. Her arms curl around Adora’s torso. “I’m fine.”

Adora strokes Catra’s hair, softly intones “I’m sorry baby, I’m sorry if I went too far.”

Catra shakes her head and says nothing. Adora holds her tighter. They sit, the stars hang, the air hangs, the evening passes.

  
  
  
  
  
  


Adora hits belly first, bounces slightly, settles onto the top of her bed. She’s in her long sleeve white top and a pair of shorts. She crawls, centers herself at the top of the circular bed. She flips herself over and watches Catra undress silently, one last lamp still illuminating the room. Catra continues to strip and Adora watches, gazes. Her back is turned to Adora, facing the far wall lined by the dresser and the door. She lifts her shirt up off her body and Adora sees scars, muscles, fur, skin. Two weeks of this nightly dance and Adora is still content to watch, to wait in silence. Catra finds a looser garment, a larger shirt to wear while sleeping, and slips it on over her body. She walks to the far wall and kills the last burning oil lamp. 

Strong moonlight floods into the room as Adora’s eyes adjust to the darkness. She sees Catra turn. She crosses the room. Catra approaches the bed and Adora opens her arms wide. Catra crawls to her, shuffles around so that her back is pressed into Adora’s chest. She raises her elbow and Adora slips her arm around Catra’s flank. Catra brings her arm back down and lays her forearm atop Adoras, lacing their fingers together. She sighs and brings her legs up, leaning back into Adora.

They lay for moments, or minutes, and Adora is awake. A breeze flows through the room, let free by the room’s wide windows. They’ve been silent since leaving the garden. Adora’s thoughts don’t drift, or float, or wander towards sleep. They loop, replaying the night, stuck in rumination. _Enough, Adora_. She pushes it away, forces herself to focus on the trip to the Fright Zone that lies ahead. She wonders if her locker still exists. She wonders if Catra’s childhood drawings are still there. She wonders _if—You don’t forgive yourself._ _Enough, Adora_. Another loop starts. 

Catra shifts beneath her arm. “Adora?” she says softly, the low volume rasping at her vocal chords. 

“Yeah?” Adora whispers back. 

“Is it okay to talk?”

“Yeah. I’m not sleepy.”

Catra flips over to face Adora, shimmies up so they’re face to face on the pillow. They’re a foot or so apart, bodies arched in toward each other, legs messed together. A minute or so passes, and Adora concentrates on Catra’s breathing, in and out.

“Do you think Scorpia wants to see me?” Catra eventually asks, voice still low.

Adora blinks, then nods. “She loves you. You were, like, her best friend. I think she might have been _in_ love with you once. I don’t think she ever stopped thinking of you as her friend”

Adora hears Catra breathe five, six, seven times.

“And why would Perfuma invite me with you guys?”

Adora is stroking Catra’s arm, running her hand through her short fur. “Perfuma is the most forgiving person I know. Plus, she knows you mean a lot to me, and to Scorpia.”

Catra draws closer to her. Adora slides her left arm under Catra’s neck. “And Mermista? I destroyed her kingdom, Adora,” Catra breathes.

“I don’t think she forgives you, yet. But I think she’s how important you are to me, how Glimmer and Bow have accepted you, even after the portal. So she’s willing to try,” Adora whispers. “But you need to show her that you deserve it.”

They’re inches apart. 

“What if she doesn’t forgive me?” It comes out raspy.

“Then you live with that. She’s allowed to not forgive you.” Adora’s voice barely comes out. “But I’m never leaving you. I’m never letting you go. Nothing is going to change that.”

Catra presses their foreheads together and Adora squeezes her tight. They’re pressed up against each other now, chest to chest. Adora takes her arm that’s wrapped around Catra’s neck and withdraws it, runs it through Catra’s hair. Catra shivers.

“If you’re there, I think I can try.” Catra whispers.

Adora presses a light kiss to her lips, pulls away slowly. “I’ll be there.”

Catra returns the kiss, deeper this time, and the world collapses inward.

**Author's Note:**

> I just made a twitter, follow me at @lotuslazu. I have a fun modern AU friends to enemies to lovers fic planned so stay tuned.
> 
> There is one (1) dhalgren reference in here, if you get it you get a gold star (and my undying love).


End file.
